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Mike Schulz begins his session with Dave Levora and Darren Pitra about Mel Brooks’s ninety-seventh birthday. Levora shares a fantastic anecdote Brooks shared with Judd Apatow his experience in World War II — you should hear Levora tell it, here. (Or you could read it, elsewhere, in The Atlantic Monthly: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/07/mel-brooks-judd-apatow-interview/674167/.) After this, talk of Jennifer Lawrence’s new film, the R-rated sex comedy No Hard Feelings, seems somewhat anticlimactic. Normally, the premise of a thirty-two-year-old woman hired to deflower a nineteen-year-old nerd would make one’s antennae stand up, even though the traditional trajectory of such films — start raunchy, end on a sentimental note, so no one needs to shower afterward — is a fairly established one. But those two jokes they included in the preview? That’s about it in terms of the humor, folks. The marketing department shot their wad, so to speak, on behalf of a movie that includes otherwise fine performances from Lawrence and Andrew Barth Feldman (the nerd in question). Schulz still thinks Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse and the latest John Wick sequel are the films to beat this year, quality-wise, but loves Wes Anderson’s meta-textual, star-studded Asteroid City. Talk turns swiftly to previews of forthcoming films, primarily Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Schulz doesn’t understand why there’s been such insane build-up behind this latest installment, given that the one before it, 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, didn’t impress audiences, despite a worldwide return of $790.7 million against its $185 million budget. (Domestically, it disappointed initially, earning $317,101,119 — which sounds like a lot, until you realize that Paramount expected to make $400 million in order to determine the film had turned a profit, thereby ensuring those with smaller profit-sharing deals — franchise creator George Lucas, director Steven Spielberg, and star Harrison Ford, among others — were chewing down their fingernails until the foreign-market returns came in at $473,552,823.) Perhaps it’s meant to be a valedictory turn for Ford, a victory canter at the finish line (assuming the film delivers spectacularly against its $295 million budget), as Ford, who will turn eighty-one in July, seems increasingly disinclined to do more films which require any degree of physicality on his part. Levora thinks it’ll bank, given that 2008 was, well, 2008 — “a long time ago,” Schulz, you curmudgeon, you. All parties present conveniently forget that, as critically drubbed as Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was, its box-office profits, all in, exceeded $600 million. (Adjusted for inflation, and factoring in marketing costs and the link, that number may be less impressive, but, still. . .) Then there’s also Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken, a computer-animated action-comedy film produced by DreamWorks Animation and distributed by Universal Pictures. Levora fears the biggest chuckle that film will deliver is in its title, though the premise (a shy freshman, voiced by Lana Condor, who is desperate to fit in at her high school, finds out she is descended from an ancient line of legendary sea monsters, or “krakens”) is admittedly compelling. Also participating is Toni Collette, Will Forte, Sam Richardson, and Jane Fonda, to name a few. And then there’s Past Lives, a romantic drama written and directed by Celine Song, described by Schulz as “kind of like Moonlight, but with a Korean romance.” The set-up — a couple kids who fall in love young keep getting separated in twelve-year gulfs, and the two try their damnedest to keep the fire going despite the relentless onwardness of Time — sounds like it might take a viewer by surprise. Speaking of surprises, the writers taking part in the Writer’s strike having been sharing notes they’ve received from their studios, who are angling to get more AI participation in the creative process. As cost-cutting measures go, that may be one of the more evil ways to go about things. Slightly less unforgivable was the letter Barry Jenkins received for Moonlight, which said, “This is an okay movie. But where are the white people?” If the fall season of films seems anemic by contrast in its offerings, you’ll have studios like that one to thank. Happy July Fourth weekend!
“Asteroid City” and “No Hard Feelings”